Friday, August 28, 2009

Earthquakes, Prisons, a robbery and a haircut!

Wow it's been a crazy few days! I'm a little disappointed at my last entry here, there where so many spelling and grammatical mistakes, it was the pills I swear!

Anyway, I broke my back the other day, doctor said I wouldn't be walking if it where broken, so I'm inclined to believe her when she said it was a muscle strain! Feels like it's been snapped and put back together the wrong way round....not now I'm on yet more pills for the pain. My kitchen cupboard has a wider variety than my local pharmacy, still if it weren't for them, I would be locked in an asylum, and in I'm not complaining!

There was a huge earthquake last night, it was at 2:10am, and I was up on the computer, there was a small rumble at first, I just thought it was a truck speeding by, or a big gust of wind, but no sooner than I thought, "hmmm that was odd" the second one began, and WOW it was amazing, the whole house shook, and I felt the ground wobble, like I was on one of those treadmill type thingys they have at airports! My poor dog went nuts, and naturally I thought it was the end of the world!
Now....bear in mind that I have only been in New Zealand 4 years, and back in the UK we never have quakes...this was only the second one I have ever experienced, the first being last year and it was just a gentle rumble. This one was 5.2 on the Richter scale! 5.2 that certainly isn't a baby, that's a king size, twin pack quake!!

I read on the net that the quake was only 30km down, and was the biggest some residents have experienced in 35 years!
There is something seriously terrifying about earthquakes, when you take out the science behind them, and think about it, the name sums it up, it is the earth, the planet we live on, and take for granted, literally having a little crash into itself...I cannot be alone in thinking that it just isn't right!
Wellington, which is the Capital city, is built around a maze of fault lines, and my house nests comfortably smack bang in the middle of one of them! Take a look!


I must say though, that aside from building houses on the planets bad bits, New Zealand has some pretty good ideas! I read this week that the nearest prison from me, has confirmed that they will be housing prisoners in......get this.....shipping containers!! How brilliant is that? Imagine how the proposal for that idea came about; "We need to address the lack of space, what do you suggest"? "Buggered if I know, chuck 'em in shipping containers, har har".....*slight pause in the board room*....."Good thinking old chap"......Whhhaaat!

It really is ingenious though, why waste so much money building nice comfy buildings for them, spa baths, and LCD TVs...not in Kiwi Country, you get a steel box, with a window cut out if your lucky!
As you can imagine the idea has caused some controversy among the animal rights people, oops I mean human rights people, but they are the same lot that believe prisoners should be allowed double beds.....really?? don't forget the goose-down duvets, and a nice mink throw...pffft

There will be another visitor the prison soon, when yesterday some muppet decided to walk into a bank in the main street of a fair sized town near me, and wander off with a bag full of cash...needless to say he was arrested less than an hour later at his house, where he had driven straight to. Apparently he is also being charged with another robbery at a bank less than a block away, at the beginning of the month! NZ is not a place where you can get away with bank robbery, although the Country is larger than Britain, and has only a little over 5% of the population of Britain, everyone seems to know everyone else! I am not joking, it's errie!

Well this was a bit long, but it's been a busy few days! I passed my video module Yay! If you want to have a look, I uploaded it to youtube... just click here

And tonight I gave my son his first haircut, it was a brilliant experience, and no he doesn't look ridiculous, for some reason it actually turned out well!!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Walking, smoking, and Klonopin!

Wow, what a week....things couldn't get any more surreal, aside from being abducted by something..Having said that my car hasn't made any serious attempts at ending my life lately, well except that time it came at me with an axe, but I don't count those incidents!

Good news, and certainly highlight of the last few months is that my youngest, Samuel has taken the biggest step a
baby can take....He's waking, and not like some parents that just throw there kids across the room and count that as first steps! This is text book walking, no amateur BS!

Has been a little hard to get used to thigh, as it now longer means he's a baby...he's upgraded to 'toddler' So now technically I don't have any baby's! And shan't be having anymore, Complications put my wife in a life risking situation if she where to attempt more. Sure we are happy with that we won't be having anymore, but its times like these that we think, 'damn'

Baby's are far more addicting then methamphetamine, seriously once you get hit with the broody bug, it's like a scene from 'trainspotting'

Slightly more concerning news has led me into a bit of a downward spiral, is that my eldest boy Martial is showing (very subtle mind you) signs of Bi-Polar. This is something I have feared since I was diagnosed, as the illness indisputably re-occurs among family members. In other words someone in my recent family tree would of had it, and being that we have 2 kids the odds of one of them having the illness is increased!

There is a big question for me;
If I knew I had B-Polar would I of breeded??
The answer being a flat NO...I have issues with simply bringing a child into this world, let alone with a high chance of them having a serious mental illness.

I'm quite right wing when it comes to the question of; should people have kids if there is a high risk they will have a disability early on in life. First of all I am Pro-life, but would only fully support the views that came with it, if we where able to control the breeding process. To the point where I am quite partial to the idea of a licence to breed!

The important thing thing here if Matial was Bi-Polar, we would detect it very early on in life, and be able to control it from a very early age, thus reducing the risks of it affecting his life as he becomes a man! It is still something that I'll dwell on for some time yet!

On a few extra pills this week, not for the faint hearted, I say faint hearted as I don't wanna use pu**ys on here! Anyway I'll let you know how that turns out, will either turn me into a nutter, make me feel better shor-term, or knock me out and I'll sleep until next Autumn, like a bear but backwards....Been on them a few times before, but never with the current combo I' currently on.

Wouldn't it be fantastic if you could have a cocktail party, but with no alcohol!

Saw a fantastic video this week on youtube, it was from The Onion and they said President Obama had Bi-polar! The whole piece was written in a non derogatory way, and I really had a crack up! Check it out!

Quiting smoking is a LOT harder that I imagined, and my cut down target has been exceeded a lot lately! Still keen to do it though, and despite the cheating, it's still a big improvement!

Highs and lows are keeeeling me lately, and considering changing the blog to
that would certainly descibe it a better more at the moment! hehe!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

My car the Murderer!

Ok..I was going to write all about why my car is trying to kill me, but there is too much to say, and a lot of it is very hard to believe! But here's a quick run-down;

1) The headlights stay on indefinitely once you shut the car off..
2) We unplugged the a box which controls a relay of some kind..lights go out, and so does the petrol gauge
3) Neither the headlights nor the petrol gauge are plugged in yet the headlights turn on when you want them too..and the petrol gauge often works fine!
4) I can only get either the rear brake-light or the rear indicator to work...I can get them both to work but not if you put it in its cradle..
5) sometimes the brake light and indicator work just fine...
6) The boot shuts and locks into the hinge..only when it wants to!

The list goes on and on..but I SWEAR it is out to get me, driving home tonight, I have to travel over a very bendy, dangerous hill called 'The Rimutaka Road" The summit is 555m and I have to do it every day!
Anyway it is very prone to a bit of fog, and is frequently closed due to snow, but tonight was really foggy, and my car decided it was time to make it's next serious move.........I had my window down, and fan set to windscreen, on full as it was raining hard and I hate condensation! So all of a sudden -of course- the windscreen gets covered in condensation, as if someone was boiling a kettle in the car, and my windscreen wipers stopped wiping the rain off, instead it spread it all over the windscreen, as if it had cooking oil on it....I found myself halfway on the wrong side of the road, on one of the hairpins...

Naturally when I arrived home the car covered up it's sinister doings, as if nothing had happened, so I couldn't prove anything to my wife!

Now I ask have you ever seen the movie called "Christine"? I have always loved the film and my dream in life is to own the car...anyway it's about a 1957 Plymouth Fury, that finds a young man, and he restores her to her full glory...however after a few instances of vandals extra, you soon learn she has the ability to restore herself, and goes around killing people then acting all innocent!

There is one scene in particular where the car is jealous of her owners girlfriend, so locks the doors and tries to strangle her with the seat belt!


Seriously this car is like an 80's version of Christine and it wants to keeel me! This is certainly not the first time it has shown hatred toward me! Now to really understand my concerns you need to know that I purchased the car from a very good friend of mine, who assures me he has had no such issues with the car!

If you came for a drive, you would think I am even crazier as I guarantee that she would run perfectly! I pick a friend up every day shortly after the Rimutaka trip, and she performs just fine, except the brake light thing! And what if I took it to my friend who is a qualified mechanic?? Nothing happens!

If this is my last blog post, you will know why! Find my Alfa Romeo...and destroy no-one else falls prey to her evil ways...Or even better, buy her off me...then give her to someone you really dislike!

Whaa.....wait the engine just started by's comi.....................

Saturday, August 15, 2009

If you can't beat mental illness....ride it like a bull!!

After speaking with someone that said they never really experience the 'nice' side of Bi-Polar, it got me thinking about how, sometimes it really can be for me. To explain it for you lucky 'normal' people....look at it like the old sayings of "happy drunk" or "angry drunk" Ask anyone that drinks occasionally and they'll know that if you're in a good mood and you get drunk, you are generally a good laugh and things are fun..Drink in a bad mood, and you're far more likely to be an angry person while intoxicated..

Bi-Polar Highs, for me are similar in some ways, if a 'high' comes on when I'm with the kids, playing with my dog, or doing something I enjoy, I tend to simply enjoy it more, the extra energy is focused on fun, crazy play fights with the dog, rather than just kicking the ball...Loads of running around chasing the kids, and making fun of my extremely tolerant wife!! It's not always the case of course, there are the weird ones where I wander around or worse of all......I venture out somewhere...things have a tendency to go on a much different path!

Come to think of it though most of the time, when the highs, are angry, or extreme anxiety, is when I'm home alone, or in the car etc. when I have nothing to focus all the insane energy and ramblings toward..

So I have an idea to try and help the highs be more pleasant...

1) Make sure you have an mp3 with some corny, happy music on it, something to make you laugh..'star-trekkin' 'aga-do' the really corny stuff!!

2) Get a dog!!...My motivation would be much worse than it is if it wasn't for my dog..that important urge to take them for their daily walk really 'gets you off your arse' I have a black lab, well known for their sixth sense, she's comforting when I'm low, and always their when I'm high!

3) When you are feeling stabilized, try and prepare for the next episode, it WILL come again I have to face if you can't beat this crap, beat it!!

a) Set out a load of old crockery in a box, ready for the next time you are angry
b) Paint only half a wall in a spare room, for when your feeling that weird urge to do things round the house
c) Stash loads of chocolate and soppy movies for the lows
d) Buy a go-kart for the highs!!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Cars, trains, toilets and John Key

So....had to try and get the car fixed, but as it's an Alfa Romeo, acquiring parts has proved to be very difficult...My mechanic friend is on his holidays, and so me and another friend are going to try and fit the brake pads ourselves tomorrow...that should be interesting!

That's if we can find the pads, I spoke to the Alfa dealer and even they couldn't be sure which type the were. So plan is as follows;

1) Up early head over to me mates
2) Move the car into his driveway and jack it up
3) Whop one of the pads off
4) Drive around all day trying to find one that matches
5) Attempt to fit them

Best of all I will be looking at paying at least $80 for them.....Still that's better than the 200 at a garage, not that the car would make it to the nearest one without the brakes shattering.

Oh my God I hate cars!!

I hate trains even more than cars though, and I had to take a 45 minute trip on one yesterday after realising that there was 0% chance of survival if I drove any further in my motor!

I was dying for the loo but had to pretty much run to the station as I had precisely 2 minutes until the train came! I get there and have just enough time to nip to the toilet...WRONG!! The lavatories are on the other side of the tracks, and the only way over was via 100 kilometers of underground passages and caves...I seriously considered trying to jump the 10 ft electric fence stopping people from just crossing the tracks..Alas i saw the headlights of my train...

Now this leaves an interesting question...You are desperate for the loo but your train is you

A) wait until next spring for another train
B) risk a bendy hilly trip and pray you can hold it

I went for B...luckily it was one of the new fancy trains like we had back in London and it actually had a loo on board..Relief!!...well not quite as I'm a terrible aim as it is let alone trying when the train is doing light-speed through a hairpin turn..

It made the trip a little more bearable though as the main reason I hate train journeys is the anxiety of being trapped in a capsule with hundreds of people from every walk of life. There was a nun, a businessmen, a neo-Nazi, a baby, and a man that must of been over 100 years old! So many different types of people, a train is like someone seriously misinterpreted the bit in the bible about Noah and his arc!!

I try to avoid trains/planes/buses/bicycles and now my car as well!! Perhaps I was just meant to stay at home and moan about things!

And to top it all off while I was drinking my cup of tea last night, I was watching a program about the Prime Minister, John Key and it showed him trying to dance during the elections at something called "big gay out" Where he is flapping his arms around in between two largely built drag queens...seriously that is the person that is running New Zealand at the moment. Politics I mean....Really!!

This is our freaking Prime Minister...I I thought Gordon Brown was cocking it up over in the UK (see what I did thur) but this is nuts! (and again)!

Thursday, August 6, 2009


Paranoia is unquestionably an effect with Bi-Polar, You slowly begin to cope with it, but it may take years, for me it is increasingly bad when on a mild and stronger high. To the point where sometimes it seems to end the episode as I recluse fearing that everyone is looking at me, especially when I'm out and about with my wife and kids...I'm a young Dad and I often feel that people are looking at me thinking "Oh that poor child with such a young immature Father" We will get to the car after rushing out when it gets too much, and I can place a ton of people that looked at me "funny" and my wife couldn't recall any such happenings!

Also trust, I have a terrible time trusting people, a friend may ask to give his friend a ride somewhere, and I can't stop looking in the rear-view, coming up with elaborate theories about how it's a conspiricy and they are going to jack my car! It really is crazy when you think about it, and the majority of the time no-one is any the wiser what my nutty brain is running to it's 'crazy place'

I have always been a distrusting and paranoid person since as far back as I can remember which for some reason isn't much before I was about 13 (many shrinks have tried and failed to work that one out lol) It has lead to me having only really 2 or 3 friends my whole life, lots of 'mates' but to me there is an enormous difference between "mates" and "friends"